Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Becoming another person and fears for the future

Sometimes it's so easy to relate to things you see on tv or in other medias on some sort of a personal level. Well the media I related to recently was a recent episode of the office. Parts of which dealt with Jim fearing that he was turning into his boss Michael. I relate to Jim in the fact of that I'm kinda in that place where I don't know what I want or where I want to be but I know that I don't want to be in the same job in a few years time. Don't get me wrong my works not horrible but I just don't want it to be my career. I feel like if I stay here I'll turn into the older crotchety gal that works here. She's not my boss nor has she been here even near as long as my boss. From what I gathered she's been here maybe 2 or 3 years. She doesn't seem to care about her job and in particular her co-workers on a personal level. She just is at that point where she clocks in and flips to auto-pilot. Some customers find her okay and some she rubs in completely the wrong way and I mean really wrong. She wasn't exactly like this when I started here. It seems she's just gone downhill attutide wise and could give two shits less about her work. She does the bare minimum and is content with doing so. I don't want to be that person. I want to like where I work and to care about my job. It seems like there's just something about this place though. We've had so much turnover in this year. I can't even remember how many people i've trained in 2007. I myself can't see this becoming a career. I hope it's just a stepping stone to something I really want to do for a living. I feel at this point though i'm most definetly stuck here until after my sister graduates high school and figures out where her path will lead her. Who knows though. My parents will eventually be able to take care of her without me. I have to stop being mom someday I guess. But when that day comes will I be ready to take care of myself when all i've done in the past is care for others?