cloak of invisibility

all i ever wanted was for someone to notice me...
now that you do
and i know how you feel
i wish i could just dissapear
like a dream and you'd forget about me
forget i exsisted
forget i made any impact on your life
i will forget you
to remember you would leave a never healing scar
i can't bear that cross
forget the feelings
forget the fears, tears, and all of that
just go your way and i'll go mine
never let our paths cross
eternal sunshine in our spotless minds

FuCk WOrk!

No better blog title could describe the feeling i've felt most about work lately. I've gone back and forth about the whole work thing for some time now. Lately that feelings been brought back to the forefront in a major way. I felt I had to blog because it's kind of hard to talk about with the people I have access to in a normal week. The biggest issues I have stem from two fellow employees of my place of work. One a manager of sorts and the other in a similar position to mine with less seniority (not that that seems to mean shit here). Lets call the manager uncleson and the one with the similar position grandneice. Those names will help you to remember their relationship to each other and the owner. Uncleson is the son of the owner and the uncle of grandneice. Grandneice is the granddaughter of the owner and the neice of Uncleson. The one I have the least problems with is Uncleson.

Most of the time I acutally feel sorry for him. Currently his age is around 50. He grew up in a well off family (read: Spoiled Child that never worked) and seems to be sort of a blacksheep/troublemaker of the bunch. Anywho eventually he would be relocated from the west coast to Colorado to run a hotel. Mind you he seems like he's never had much, if any job experience, but none the less is sent to manage a hotel in a place he's never been. My understanding is the current owner has had this hotel for going on two plus years now. I've been here for 1yr 4months. Around my, lets say, 9month mark he got into some legal trouble which put him on probation. During this time he wasn't able to drink. He was a better and more productive(for him anyways). I remember the first time i met him. He was yelling, intoxicated, and very in your face. He nearly shoved one of those older chunky computer monitors off the desk. When he was on probation he was very tame and bearable. A bit after he was off he began drinking again. Which bring us to our present day problems. My current issue du jour is the way he talked to a fellow employee when he was drunk. I have a outside of work relationship with this person and am very overprotective. He felt it necessary to tell this employee that he pays us to do jackshit. That our job is useless and shouldn't exsist. So not only did he have me upset about his talking to this person the way he did but he also said basically that we're useless.

Now for Grandneice. Grandneice is two-face. To my face she is somewhat nice (well for her anyways) and behind my back she tries to get me fired. It's gotten to the point where everyone wishes she would just move on. She two comes from the same spoiled child family as Uncleson and it shows. She does a half-assed job on a job that isn't really that hard. She doesn't have lots of paperwork like my shift and barely has to do any food prep. Yet she still finds time to not do dishes, leave the place a mess, irritate/insult guests, and show up late if at all. Those are just some of the behavior she's allowed to get away with. If I did any of the things she did guarantee I'd be out of a job. Me and some other staff members even had to have a meeting with her about her. We told her straight out that she does a shitty job. All she could say was she'd try to do better and that this is her first job and she's never worked before. Well readers that meeting was Friday afternoon. Today is Monday the 21st. When I came in on Sunday the 20th I found a messy lobby area, eating area, and dishes in the sink. She also embarrased herself in front of a guest I was trying to help. The look on his face said it all. "What a twat!" Well maybe not those exact words but you get my meaning.

It sucks to work somewhere where you are not appreciated, will never advance, will most likely be passed over (if not already) in pay by anyone who can be involved in the rampant nepotism going on here, have no benefits, and the other AWESOME manager's hands are tied so that she can't fire the lil' delinquent without pissing off the owner and Uncleson.

I honestly think the owner wouldn't let this go on if he knew what they truly were doing with his money and investment. At least that's the tiny bit of hope I hold onto. Of course when he visits they get all "okay" employee. I can't wait to see if he ever shows up for a suprise visit and finds them both screwing around. That would be a sweet sweet revenge.

Needless to say I'm looking for a new job and have let the AWESOME manager know.

I leave you with these thoughts:

When is enough, enough?

At what point do you forgo the alliances and friends you've made in order to do what's right for your life?

When are friends not enough to keep you in a hell that you all deserve better than?

How does one get revenge without becoming the thing that they detest?