sometimes i think it's for the best that i don't drive. sometimes when life feels shitty or rough i feel like just escaping. with my personallity being so spur of the moment i think if i had a car i probably would disapear. not disapear in the sense that no one would no where i'm at all "runaway bride" crap. i mean come on how inconsiderate is a person who would have everyone who gives a damn about you worried that your dead in a ditch somewhere. of course i would call home and say hey i'm okay i just had to get away for a bit probably would even say where i'm at. my inspiration for this post came in the form of juno. it's 2am in the morn and i'm watching it at work and i see her just jump into a van and just escape from the problem brought up by the potential adoptees of her spawn. i thought how freeing and liberating would it be if i could just up and get away sometimes. just maybe drive to denver or something. i don't even have to have a destination really just some money and some wheels. just go and do what i want to do and not have to worry that the person with me doesn't approve or doesn't want to do what i feel like doing at that particular moment. hell i don't even have to stop anywhere. i could just drive in a big fucking circle if i so choose. just drive up to denver and then turn around and come back cause i'm a badass like that. my trip wouldn't need purpose or meaning. just the feeling of being free. i've always said to people who asked "how can you not drive" that you can't miss something you've never had. yeah i've never had a car and don't miss it... if that makes sense but at one time i had freedom. freedom to do whatever i want even though i've been to responsible to really run wild with it. then i had to take care of my sisters by stepping up and being the parent which is a role i'm still half in. don't get me wrong i'm not angry at the world or my parents. it's just sometimes i want to be the fuckup and not the responsible one. i know many kids my age can't relate to this as they've never had any real responsibility. most 22 year olds are in college or are finish up. they're going out on dates and getting hammered in bars. not me i'm at work dreaming the dreams of dreamers and watching the front desk. ah movies the windows to other lives that we wish we had.
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