How will this story end?

Here at the hotel, on these long slow winter nights, I find myself with more alone time with my thoughts. sometimes it seems like the slightest sentence can bring inspiration for a slew of thoughts some good, some bad. Tonight it was this simple quote that brought me to blog:

"Who am I? And how, I wonder, will this story end?"

Simple. short. and yet so powerfull and all encompassing of the phase i feel i'm kinda in. is my life going down the path which will end happily ever after or am i doomed to feel like a to be continued or something worse and unhappily ever after? does this part of my life even figure into the grand scheme of things? all these thoughts, questions just rushing into my head after reading the first two sentences in a book?! it goes to show just how powerfull the written word can be to eyes that are reading and in the right mind to read them as they should be read. The next page goes on:

"My life? It isn't easy to explain. It has not been the rip-roaring spectacular I fancied it would be, but neither have I burrowed around with the gophers."

"I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."

Now this part I can relate to bits and pieces of. My life or rather my beginnings haven't been anywhere easy to explain but it's gotten easier over the years. People are different and have changed but the scars of life still linger upon me from the wounds inflicted upon me long ago. Meaning I haven't forgotten my younger years but I have forgiven which makes it easier to talk about. My ife hasn't been in any way that I know of spectacular and so far I think I have "burrowed" a bit. I think in that respect I still have a lot of "wild oats" to sew and trouble to cause though hopefully not much. ^_^ I think I'm kind of special but I still have lots of special to unleash on the world for sure. I do think that the things I ponder in this blog may not be far from the thoughts on others some of which may even be my age. Sometimes I feel like such an old soul compare to those my age but i'm sure i'm not alone in that respect. I believe there are others out there. There are no monuments to the life i've led so far and I don't think I want any errected to me in the future. I have loved. Not in the sense of romance but in the sense of family & friends. I have yet to love someone in the romantic sense. Although I know that's true it's a tough sentence to write. To sit here and physically type to the world that you've never loved before is hard. I don't know why it's nothing to be ashamed of and yet... in a way i am. It's not that I don't want to find that other piece but I guess on my part I don't feel like i've looked nor been in that point of life where I'm ready. I still have to get used to the thought of me first I guess. I think for the most part I do love me but I also do believe I could use more work. Especially now. I feel like i'm in a funk. I've slept a little more than i'm proud of in the last week and i've been having problems with work but I think the problems are really internal. Now that i've admitted there's problem I guess I need to work on a plan to solve it. I guess i'll get back to you on that one.